I
watched as the archduke approached, gingerly carrying a ridiculously
impractical glass slipper across the room. Soon he would ask me to try it on.
This was my moment. Feigning clumsiness as he presented it to me, I jostled his
wrist and gasped as the slipper crashed to the floor.
At
first he only stared in shock at the scattered shards, but then he began to
weep. Poor man. “Don’t cry,” I told him, reaching into my apron pocket. “I have
the other one.” His eyes darted to the shoe I held out, and he began to smile
again.
Trust
a man not to notice the glaring size difference between the original slipper
and mine.
“Thank
you for finding me!” I threw my arms around him and wailed. A little melodrama
couldn’t hurt. “I’ve missed my prince so desperately!”
He
escorted me out to the carriage. And just like that, I was on my way to the
palace and my betrothal.
***
I’d
resisted my parents’ suggested brides for years. The fiscal irresponsibility of
the parties they dreamed of throwing for my nuptials was almost a greater
deterrent than the brides themselves.
Almost.
Apparently
their only requirement for my wife was that she sport the latest hairstyle. A
brain was unnecessary. And a bit of common sense was quite undesirable. They
didn’t want someone who would actually agree with my budgets and projections.
At this rate, by the time the kingdom became mine, it would be destroyed.
As
my parents increased the pressure to marry—increasing the costs of their
wife-finding extravaganzas as well—I finally came up with a desperate plan. A
fake mystery woman. A whirlwind romance. An impossibly tiny glass slipper that would never fit
anyone. I would gain months of peace if I could convince
my parents I was heartbroken when the archduke couldn’t find my true love.
***
Of
course I wasn’t the girl from the ball. She didn’t exist. I was just a girl
with a few unorthodox ideas, a penchant for eavesdropping on secret plans, and
an unhealthy love of meddling. But no one listens to the ideas of an
unimportant glassblower’s niece, no matter how marvelous. As the prince’s new
fiancée, however, I had a chance.
Oh,
he wouldn’t be pleased at first (men always think their plans are the only way
to do something), but I was exactly what he needed.
***
The
herald approached my parents’ thrones and announced, “The archduke has
returned, victorious in his search for the slipper’s owner!”
“What?”
I sputtered. “He wasn’t supposed to—” Mother shot me a surprised look. “I mean . . .
I’m so thrilled he’s back. I just thought the journey would take longer.” I
pasted on a smile of delight. “Bring her in!” Then I would decide how to get
rid of the impostor. No gold-digging piece of fluff was going to trick her way
into marrying me.
***
I
sallied into the throne room wearing last year’s gown. The queen had looked
excited when I entered, but now she cringed. I smiled. She’d change her mind
soon enough, but first I had to convince the prince to hear me out.
“Darling!
I feared we’d be parted forever!” I ran to him and threw my arms around his
neck—the perfect position for secret conversation. Plus it couldn’t hurt to waft
a little lilac scent over the poor man.
“Who
are you?” he hissed into my ear.
“Your
fiancée, of course,” I whispered back.
“Whatever
you want, you’re not getting it.”
Straight
to the point, then. “I want to help you. You’ve been going about things with
your parents all wrong. Spreadsheets will never convince them to change.”
“Oh?
And what will?”
I
smiled wickedly. “Fashion, my dear.”
He
pulled back, aghast. “Fashion?”
“Yes,”
I told him firmly. “Retro-minimalist fashion, to be exact. Bring back the stuff
that’s been sitting in the attic for starters. I made some charts for you to
look at.”
“You
did?” He perked up. I knew the prince couldn’t resist a good chart.
“Yes.
But first we have to convince them this is real.”
“How?”
“Kiss
me, of course.” I winked.
***
Could
her plan possibly work? She smiled warmly, and I thought it might be worth a
try. I’d have to consult her charts to decide for sure, but maybe my fortunes—and
my kingdom’s—were turning around. So I leaned down to kiss my new ally. My new
fiancée.
Now
I just had to find out her name.
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